What fresh hell is this?

Dorothy Parker was one of the original Algonquin Roundtable wits. Yet for all of her cutting witticisms, she lived a sad and unfulfilled life.

More on Dot and her wisdom later.

For now:

Resume

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
And Drugs cause cramps
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live